The Power of Vulnerability is a term I came across in a much different light about 4-5 years ago. It spoke to me at the time when I was seeking inspiration, but today it took on another meaning. Since finishing our Italian class last week (not that I'm fluent, but rather finished session 1 of many more to come) many of us decided to take a break. Having only been here 2 weeks and jumping into a language course, while necessary, was also so much information to digest so quickly. So I decided (along with classmates) we'd become "Studenti di Roma Centro". It's time to learn more about the city. And if you've ever been to Rome, there is so much to learn beyond the monuments. One could live here for years and still not do/see it all. It's a big, chaotic city with little corners, little streets and crazy drivers. It's a city with unlimited coffee bars, pizzerias, wine shops, clothing boutiques and history. It's truly the eternal city because it's been here forever... and it goes on forever. So it's time I study the city.
Today was our first scheduled outing. With no major agenda, our goal was to go and get lost. It takes seeing and doing something over and over in this city, for it to sink in. So while we all brought our own experiences to the table, to know it well takes time, practice and studying. We had hopes to take the train in, but that was curbed by one of my friends and not fully explained until we came together at our meeting place. She suggested we drive instead, but didn't want to "alarm" us because her husband (who works closest with Darcy on the team) was in touch with AS Roma, revealing the seriousness of our Embassy's announcement for "All Americans in Rome and Milan be on high alert for terrorist activities similar to Paris". Since this afternoon this information has been made public in the media. But the suggestion to us was to avoid public transportation, outdoor restaurants and popular/famous monuments. Especially the Vatican, if possible. With AS Roma we are fortunate to have access and privileges to many things, including information. But in the wake of the French/German game Friday night in Paris (amongst everything else that was targeted) and the other games that have been canceled because of the risk, football stadiums and teams continue to be a target due to the crowds it draws. AS Roma being an American owned team (the first non-native owner of an European football club, to be exact) the team is in good hands with their security headed up by an ex-CIA who has access to immediate information not privy to the public. Not to mention his wife works in the flight safety sector of TSA security at the American Embassy here in Rome. This is the upside. The downside is the 'target' factor. How teams travel, where they stay and where they play will continue to be combed through for players, staff and fan's safety. The thought makes me sick to my stomach and hits too close to home to fathom.
In the meantime, I'm standing on a side walk trying to discuss with my friends "do we cancel and avoid all places - But then the terrorists want us to live in fear." Or, "If we go into the city, what decisions do we make to decrease our chances of danger, but still feel like we're not slaves in our decision?" With one of the friends, Benedicte, being French, we were all sensitive to how vulnerable she might be feeling knowing her last 6 days have been emotional enough. Being over here in Europe we are closer to more unsettled activity. The terrorism, the Mafia, the movements of migrants. And the wave of panic to think of our kid's American school (it's even listed in the schoold's name as "American Overseas School of Rome"). What if they go after the kids? This left me very fragile this morning and I've never experienced that before. Knowing that Darcy was far away in Barcelona didn't help, but the realization that these monsters are walking amongst all of us and it felt so personal as an American. Thinking we shouldn't talk so loud or draw attention to ourselves... I never had to worry in our little ol' town of Truckee. A "Red Dawn" scenario was about all my mind could muster. I even chuckle about that as I type this. But here in Rome, or Milan, or London, Washington DC, New York - anywhere will a lot of people, our vulnerability is real. I'm very aware places in the middle east and/or Africa live with this daily and tragic, no less. This is a new thing for me.
But, I'm am happy to report we decided on the quaint, trendy neighborhood of Trestevere right in the heart of Rome, but away from the monuments. And while I was reminded and saddened by the trucks and armed guards with semi-automatic weapons standing on the streets, I couldn't help my mind taking a very profound mental picture and noting this is the new normal. I had a wonderful time getting lost, wondering into olive oil shops, drinking wine and eating fabulous bruchetta and meatballs. Even if we weren't sitting outside on the cobblestone streets (as suggested we not), it was perfect and I was thankful to be laughing with these gem of friends that I have found. Thank you to those that have personally checked in with us. We are all good.
Stay safe friends and family.
Inger
